1. |
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When I was young
And had more flair (and had a lot more flair)
I spent some time
In the principal’s chair
School for me
Was a monstrous drag
I acted out
And my grades sagged (and my grades just sagged)
Back I went in the principal’s chair
I went back into the principal’s chair
The teacher didn’t
Bother to take roll (care to take the roll)
So I skipped class
And took a stroll (and I took a stroll)
Back I went in the principal’s chair
I went back into the principal’s chair
On the golf team
I took some strokes (I went and hit some strokes)
And while I played
I had some smokes (Yes I had some smokes)
I went back into the principal’s chair
Back I went in the principal’s chair
I seemed to get right into the teacher's hair, so
Back I went right into the principal’s chair
When I graduated
And got out of here
The teachers gave a great big cheer
(The teachers got up and gave me a great big cheer)
I went back into the principal’s chair
Back I went in the principal’s chair
I seemed to get straight into the teacher's hair, so
Back I went right into the principal’s chair
(Lyrics is parenthesis are for the repeats)
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2. |
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Some sing songs
Of winters’ beauty
But to me
It’s mostly duty
Clear the sidewalks
Shovel the drive
Watch that ice
Don’t take a dive
Winter wonderland
Bah Humbug
Give me the beach
And a nice cool jug
A least three months
Until the thaw
Coldest winter
I ever saw
I won’t complain
When it gets hot
A winter warrior
I am not
Winter wonderland
Bah Humbug
Give me the beach
And a nice cool jug
( virtuosic solo ) ;)
Winter wonderland
Bah Humbug
Give me the beach
And a nice cool jug
Winter wonderland
Bah Humbug
Give me the beach
And a nice cool jug
...and a nice cool jug
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3. |
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Well he had an old Desoto
It was all he could afford
The other kinds cost too much
Oldsmobiles, Chevys, and Fords
So he crept around town
In his ride that was pitifully slow
Everybody laughed at him
He was dissed don’t you know
Then one day he got a raise
Suddenly he had more cash
The old boat had to go
Time to do something rash
So he gathered up his cash
Off to the car lot he did go
Time to get a car that moved
One that didn’t go so slow
He spotted it right away
A slightly used 57 Chevy
A straight stick beauty with a 283
Girls would gather in a bevy
As his life rolled on and on
To its end and heaven
Nothing was ever a match
For that nifty 57
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4. |
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It traveled across the dining hall
It’s legs took giant strides
Long hair grew from it’s body
A creature of great size
A look of horror on my face
What kind of creature this
What kind of havoc next
I think I hear it hiss
My trusty old revolver
Was sadly out of rounds
No way to ward off danger
I’m afraid to go around
How careless of this household
To let this beasty in
Our chances of survival
Are surely pretty thin
My wife came to the room
With her swatter in her hand
She hit that fly dead center
And sent him to the promised land
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5. |
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Here’s a little song
Bout you and me
How we fell in love
And then made three
I'm thinking about
Our evening walks
And the sweetness
Of our nightly talks
Of how I used to
Hold you tight
As we liked dancing
Through the night
There may have been
Some more like you
But that number
Has to be real few
I’m so glad
That you agreed
To make a life
For you and me
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6. |
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How fast a lifetime
Passes by
Can’t slow it down
Though we may try
It seems to me that
Just last week
She first kissed
Me upon my cheek
And could it be
So many years
Since we married
To all those cheers
The children joined
Our happy throng
But growing up
Did not take long
Now we have spent
Our working years
And look back with
Thankful tears
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7. |
The Tree (ft Mandolinda)
02:02
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The tree was far from pretty
You might even say grotesque
The first ten feet at 45
Then straight up for the rest
Most would call it ugly
And order it cut down
But no one really cared
The owners had left town
One day a little bird
Found refuge in its sticks
And built a sturdy little nest
That was perfect for her chicks
So before you make a judgement
By what your eye can see
Just think about this little bird
And this very ugly tree
What seems to be of
So little worth to you
May be held most dear
And quite important too
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8. |
Barns (ft SJ Batavia)
02:26
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A big old barn
Was a place to play
From the dairy stalls
To the loft with hay
The cows came in
Way down below
On the first floor
Were the seeds to sow
Sitting on the tractor
We would just pretend
We were plowing the fields or mowing hay
We would combine the corn
And plant the beans
But only in minds cause it was make believe
The hayloft was
A favorite place
You jumped from the ladder
Out into space
They finally tore that
Nice barn down
Now it is part
Of the growing town
Sitting on the tractor
We would just pretend
We were plowing the fields or mowing the hay
We would combine the corn
And plant the beans
But only in minds cause it was make believe
They finally tore that
Nice barn down
Now it is part
Of the growing town
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9. |
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I love you so
But our time has passed
We had some fun
But it didn’t last
As you grew up
I lost my spot
Other things came
You liked a lot
We used to play
Throwing a ball
But now this has
No interest at all
You’re almost grown
And young boy stuff
Has passed us by
You’ve had enough
I guess I’ll live
With memories old
And smile when
They’re retold
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10. |
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As time goes by
It’s not the same
The life we lived
Has changed is name
What was so peaceful
So serene
Has now become
A different scene
Such an innocent
Thing we’re told
We now inform you
The place was sold
We never dreamed
That what we knew
Would vanish up
Into the blue
Our old ways
Have gone away
Perhaps they’ll come back
One fine day
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11. |
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When using the net
The site always asks
Give us the word
That has served as a mask
I think I know it
It’s Elmer star 8
A minute to enter
And then we’ll be great
What? It’s not right
You must be all wet
I carefully wrote it
So as not to forget
Could it be Elmer
In a lower case
Perhaps I will get in
Without leaving a trace
No! Bloody passwords!
No two are the same
Couldn’t we simply
Just tell you our name
Someday you may find me
Babbling some names
Dealing with passwords
I’ll not be the same
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12. |
Campfire (ft Nancy Rost)
01:09
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We sit around
We sit around the campfire
Enjoying the flames and evening flyers
This is a time that’s worth the drive
Roasting marshmallows, playing Jack’s alive
Time arrives for kids to bed
Time for special words to be said
We sit there with hands entwined
Feeling our love and drinking our wine
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13. |
I Like (ft ZeCoop)
02:46
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(Chorus)
So many things
That make life great
I’ll try to list them
On my slate
I like to see
My team play ball
It’s fun to be in
Symphony Hall
(Chorus)
I like to read
A favorite book
Love breakfast in
Our little nook
(Chorus)
It’s fun to play
The family games
I feel good learning
New friends’ names
Movies, plays, and
Conversation
News about our
Mighty nation
(Chorus)
I love my wife
And her beef stew
And don’t forget
I sure like you
(Chorus)
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14. |
Junk Drawer (ft Klaus)
02:05
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I don’t think
I am all alone
In having a place
That’s all my own
My dresser’s kept
Real nice and neat
Except that drawer
Close to my feet
This, my friends
Is a drawer for junk
It puts my wife
Into a funk
Whenever I need
A hidey hole
Into the junk drawer
Like a mole
I dutifully clean it
And get it clear
Just like clockwork
Once a year
This, my friends
Is a drawer for junk
It puts my wife
Into a funk
( paa-pa-da pap-pa etc.)
This, my friends
Is a drawer for junk
It puts my wife
Into a funk
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15. |
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Why should I
Nearly always be
A man whose ride
Is boring, you see
An old 4 door sedan
Or a station wagon are
The kinds of rides I get
When I go to buy a car
I think its time to change
Get a car that’s fun to drive
A sporty car with power
To show that I’ve arrived
There are so many
Cars from which to choose
Any would make me happy
Down to my shoes
A BMW ragtop
Now that’s the one that wins
Aw, doggone it
I’m too fat to get in
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16. |
Pants (ft Ductapeguy)
01:25
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Five pairs of pants
Fit me mighty fine
Others are a little tight
These total about nine
As we go further
About fifteen pair
We find the ones
We can no longer wear
My wife will ask
Why do they stay
I tell her I will
Lose weight some day
Then these pants
Will fit just right
No pants to buy
No bills in sight
She asks if I
Have a plan in mind
A salad that tastes like ice cream
Will suit the bill just fine
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17. |
Down (ft Gordon)
02:11
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I once was agile
Played all the games
But now I’ve changed
I now am lame
I used to laugh
When she dropped her cup
And called I’ve fallen
And I can’t get up
I laugh no more
This person’s me
Sent to the floor
By my bad knee
The rollator is
My constant friend
I need it or
My walk will end
It’s a bugger
To grow old
But It’s not over
I am told
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18. |
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As we go through
Our allotted years
Some bring laughter
Others bring tears
We talk a lot
About years gone by
Think we can regain
Things if we try
We miss the honesty
Maintained by all
But a wretched few
Who took a fall
Has honor fallen
So far from favor
Is cheating now
Our chosen flavor
Not everything from
Years gone by
Is worth the price
But we can try
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19. |
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When you realize
That your time is
Almost done
That the best times
Are in the past
You use the days
That you are given
Like pearls from
A magic pond
No time for conflict
For voices raised
This is the time
To express your love
In gratitude for
All they’ve done
To beg forgiveness
For wrongs you’ve done
And pledge to do no more
It is a time to tell them
How much they’ve meant to you
How little your life would mean
Had they not been at your side
Thank you dear for your
Steadfast love
For patience with my
Selfish ways
You are the highlight of my life
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20. |
Irene (ft Gordon)
02:16
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I had it planned
Sure to win
But then the market
Took a spin
Goodnight Irene
She looked like
The one for me
But then she picked
My friend Eugene
Goodnight Irene
This would be
A job I’d like
But the guy just
Hired Mike
Goodnight, Irene
Someday I’ll win
The great first prize
Won’t that be
A nice surprise
Goodnight, Irene
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21. |
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We take so much
Without a thought
We don’t give value
As we ought
Among the greatest
Of these things
Is the good
That our friends bring
The fun we had
Most every day
Brought more to life
Than we can say
When this great thing
Is suddenly past
We really wish
For friendship fast
Perhaps the time
Is drawing near
When we will see
Our friends so dear
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22. |
Uke (ft Chip Withrow)
03:01
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Sometimes we judge
By something’s size
Big is good
We oft surmise
Lots of things
Pack tons of value
In a package
Of a pound or two
In the music field
For one example
We have a case
That’s more than ample
My ukulele’s
Kind of small
But I think
It tops them all
From this little
Piece of wood
Comes happy sounds
That sure are good
I play songs
Both fast and slow
It’s the best
And this I know
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23. |
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Life can be
So very hard
Like garbage tossed
Up in your yard
Just when you think
You have things right
Another challenge
Comes and lights
How can we cope
With such as this
I think it starts
With a sweet kiss
When someone dear
Loves only you
It is amazing what
You can do
With help you get
From this sweet thing
You can do
Most anything (repeat last verse)
When someone loves you
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24. |
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Sometimes we lack
Strong memory skill
And what results
Will make us ill
I’ll never do that again
My boss asked for
Some volunteers
I shoveled snow
Up to my ears
I’ll never do that again
My kid once asked
To drive my car
He hit a pole
He went too far
I’ll never do that again
The man said
Put your money here
Now I am broke
And in arrears
I’ll never do that again
Perhaps when I
Am ninety six
I won’t end up
In such a fix
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25. |
No Honor (ft Gordon)
01:29
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How often those
In lofty places
Seem to show us
Several faces
They admit that
A fact’s a fact
But ignore that
When its time to act
They value income
Above reputation
Value party more
Than nation
For those of us
With just one vote
We must join hands
And take note
We have our chance
At next election
To reward them
For their defection
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